I have had, for the past two or three years, a growing pre-occupation with examining my own walk with Christ. I have been, (off and on, strong and weak, two sets of foot prints/one set of foot prints, “through many danger, toils and snares”), a Christian for thirty three years. But in the last three years I have felt a growing gnawing that I haven’t learned a thing. I know the Bible. I’m one of the few people that I personally know that has read the Bible straight through. But, yet... The things that the Bible routinely warns me about I continue to do. I’m not just talking about sexual lusts and foul language. In all honesty, I am pretty good at concealing those things. I am able to keep from the porno web sites. I can turn the channel on cable TV. I am very good at keeping a clean mouth. You ask my wife. She’s never heard me use foul language. (She claims she heard me utter, years ago, one expletive in a panic moment but I know I didn't. It has been a disagreement between us for years. Either way, the event in mind was twenty three years ago when we were dating. Ask her if she has ever heard a foul word from me in all that time.)
No, I’m pretty good at that. But, that said, you know what? I have an extremely foul mouth in my head. Oh, yeah. All the major league swear words are all right there when I’m thinking to myself. And the lust is still there. Thirty three years of studying, listening, attending, serving, and they’re still there.
I’m not so distressed with the lust. I’ve got a happy marriage. It’s the rest of the things. It is just frustrating to no end how I still get so angry. I still brood about silly things. I still run scenarios over and over in my head about what I should have said or how I shouldn’t have been spoken to like that. And I know that in a month I won’t even remember what happened that got me so angry.
Lately I feel like me getting so wrapped around the axle is worse that whatever happened that got me there.
There are other issues. Fear of showing my faith at work. After all Christ has done for me I still get that hesitancy. And worry about things I have no control over. Anxiety over what others think about me. Insecurity over ability in service to the Lord. These things come as a brooding gloom that plays like a tape in my head that I can’t turn off. I compare it to a sun burn. A pain that I’m just going to have to put up with until time passes to make it go away. I’ve had these for years but only recently realized that the only time I step up to battle them is when they are happening. That was a profound realization for me. I’m still awed that I never thought of it before. It’s a very simple thing to notice.
In the Air Force I had to run a PT test every year. I had to run a mile and a half in twelve minutes. Every year most of us, out of shape, Air Force, sergeants would get out there and run ourselves close to death. Make our 11.53 mile and a half and then go off to the side and hack our guts out. “Good for another year.”
It was said at the time, and nobody thought it was untrue, “This would be a whole lot easier and less painful if you just ran regularly and were prepared and fit when PT test time rolled around.”
Jesus said...
Luke 9:23
Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.
The anger, the worry, the lies, the profanity, the greed, arrogance, pride, insecurities, doubt, cowardice, gossip, sloth, gluttony, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, are all these “PT tests” that just kick our butts because we’re out of shape and not prepared.
I haven’t been.
That’s what’s been going on in my walk over these past two or three years. The workouts have been slow going. It’s been hard to grasp what the exercise must be to strengthen the spiritual muscles against anger or worry or pride. (Actually the same mindset can combat all three.)
I’ve been hard pressed to find a quality Bible study written about it. I’m sure there might be several out there but I have yet to get the time to get through all of them to find out. Let alone pay $8.00 for it only to be told...
Matthew 5:22
But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.
I already knew that! What I’m looking for is how to keep from getting angry. I have no doubt all of us can sit around at a home group Bible study and rattle off half a dozen passages that tell not to have an ungodly anger or the consequences we can expect. I’m talking about coming to a maturity where we don’t get angry and sin over these daily things. What’s the exercise? What’s the plan to get there? (Not perfection, just maturity.)
I think we are given an exercise. A plan. A diet and workout. In searching and reading I see that the Bible teaches to look at why the anger comes...
James 4
1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?
2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.
3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.
We get angry because we don’t get our way. And what is “our way”?
We have profanity because it’s there in our hearts, (Matthew 12:34-35, Matthew 15:18-19).
We need something else in our hearts to lock everything else out.
If that ain’t a daily, regular, routine, workout at the gym... The PT test is going to be a painful experience.
I’m preaching to myself here. This is what I’ve been meditating on more and more.
So... As we all know, a fantastic technique to learn is to teach. All these things have been going through my mind.
The phrase I keep coming back to is, ‘Spiritual Warfare’.”
Not, necessarily, spiritual warfare in just learning the weapons we have (Eph 6:10-18) but also in what makes the war (Rom 7:23) and the preparation and warning that we have to be ready. We can call it “Spiritual Warfare” or “God’s Gym” (Y’know the tee shirt? The one with Jesus doing a push up with the cross on His back?)
How about “Spiritual Workout”? Or, another title idea I have is “Weapons and Tactics”. In the Air Force all fighter and bomber squadrons have a “Weapons and Tactics” branch. These are a whole team of folks who do nothing but study enemy weapons and the tactics they’ll use against our weapons. Obviously they also have to be smart on what our own weapons and tactics are to combat these things. Their job in the squadron is to act as a training tool for the rest of the pilots and crews. They keep them up to date with briefings and classes. In an operational squadron it’s typical for all crews to receive a daily, “Threat Of The Day” brief. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
I want to study traps, weapons, attacks, exercises, warnings, escape routes. I want know when to hold’em (2 Tim 1:13), know when to fold’em (Titus 3:9), know when to walk away (2 Tim 2:23) and know when to run (1 Tim 6:11).
Jesus fought Satan with “It is written”. That’s true and we all know it. But I’ve seen too many Bible studies leave it at that. It’s even more important to know what was written to combat the temptation Satan had. And to realize that Jesus knew those passages long before Satan came with an attack. That’s important. I think that’s the key.
I’ll tell you where this is headed. I’ll tell you the answer to this whole Bible study right now and up front. We’re all headed somewhere...
Romans 8:28-29
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
It should be at the top of the list of what we want. (Philippians 3:10)
And God has promised we can get what we want...
Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Deuteronomy 4:29
But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.
Jeremiah 29:13
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
And that is the answer to the whole study. No secret.
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